Aunt Bee Isn't Always Right (and Other Lessons Learned)

It's been two months since I moved out of my "stick" house and began full timing in the RV. Some of the things I've learned:

• The GPS B*tch, or "Aunt Bee" as I've come to call her, will lie like a bad rug on a slanty floor. You ask her for a laundromat and she takes you down a narrow, twisty road to an Amish farmhouse. You think she told you to take the upcoming expressway ramp, but as soon as you are committed to the turn and can't go back, she says in her reproachful, I-Told-You-So voice, "Re-CAL-cu-lating" and you know you are going in the wrong direction and will need to turn around at the next exit.
  Then, as if to rub it in, she says, "Continue 25 miles to the next exit." In this case, all I want to know is, "how likely is it REALLY that I'll get a ticket if I use those 'Authorized Vehicles Only' turn arounds?"
  
  
• Even if you tell the GPS you are a bus, it will take you down a road that is so narrow that two Mini Coopers could not pass each other.
  
• On the flip side, the GPS is one of the most useful and valuable things in the truck. She has made navigation back to my temporary homes a snap. She keeps me on the right road more that she takes me down the wrong road. I totally forgive her for the trip to the Amish farm while my dirty underwear sat patiently in the truck.
  
• I can grease moving parts on mechanical devices, figure out the difference between volts, watts, and amps, and learn why the load range of a tire is important.
  
  
• Less "stuff" = more happiness.
  
• Satellite radio is a wonderful invention.
  
• RV people are the most friendly and helpful folks in the world. They will loan you lengths of hose if you can't quite reach the faucet, and will help you navigate through a mine field of parked vehicles when you need to leave in the morning and are towing 23 feet of RV. If the RVers are a man and a woman, odds are the man does all the driving. Odds are the woman will offer you food, such as cookies or watermelon. Odds are any kids or grand kids will be off happily playing in the great outdoors, not watching TV or playing video games.
  
  
• I can haul an RV down a 9% grade and not panic when the transmission in a lower gear starts to sound like a jet plane taking off. I can also
  haul the RV up an 18% grade and have the sense to go down a by a different road.
  
• Hose connections don't leak if you put Vaseline on the threads.
  
  
• I can back an RV into a relatively tight spot, but it isn't pretty. There is no shame in getting out of the truck to see where you are, and where you will end up if you continue to moving in the same direction. There is no shame in pulling forward and starting over.
  
• You need to start turning earlier than you think.
  
  
• Life on the road is a fabulous adventure.