Thursday, October 16, 2008

How to Start A Conspiracy

Location: Roswell, NM (actually a couple days ago -- I have been without internet!)

Click for Larger Image of Newspaper Article

  • 1947: Send up one weather/spy balloon
  • When it crashes, begin to panic because its secrets may be made public and the Cold War aggravated
  • Rejoice when the locals help you out by thinking it is an alien space ship instead of a military secret, ripe for the picking -- this is one story you won't need to invent
  • When things get out of hand, as you should have realized they would, fess up to the balloon thing to stop the panting hoards from demanding that you produce a spaceship and the rumored alien body
  • Oops, no one believes you now. Did you really think they would?
  • Finally, quit trying to deny that you have an alien spaceship in custody, and that the aliens are the source for the formulas for Velcro and Teflon (aliens must need sticky and non-sticky simultaneously, it seems). If you are NASA, stop wishing it really was true -- you'd get more funding than a Bridge to Nowhere if you really had that baby locked up in a shed somewhere!

Click for Larger Image of Store Window61 years later, the conspiracy theories surrounding the Roswell crash site, a flat, otherwise unremarkable piece of farmland outside of town, are still funding the tourist trade -- stores sell alien dolls, alien refrigerator magnets, alien shot glasses, "alien crossing" signs, alien t-shirts, and alien blow up dolls to name just a few of the dollar drainers. Aliens and spaceships charmingly decorate self storage lockers, taxidermists, streetlights (just the oval eyes!), coffee shops, and RV parks. The International UFO Museum and Research Center will let you look at the all the evidence of visitations, in Roswell and elsewhere, for a few bucks, and they even graciously devote one small board to the skeptical viewpoint. If you want more of the "other side's" take, check out these links:

The Skeptics Dictionary
The UFO Skeptic's Page
National Capitol Area Skeptics: The Condon Report (be sure to check the acknowledgments page, you might see a name you know) and the Symposium on Unidentified Flying Objects.

Click for Larger Image of Stores 
Click for Larger Image of UFO Museum Click for Larger Image of Walmart 


Richard said...

Of course you did not have internet access -- it is well known that the alien ship's electronics (still buried deep in the ground at the crash site) interfers with wireless connections. You also likely noticed the metal in your ankle vibrate while you were there. It happens even to non-believers.

Mary Persall and Jerry Persall said...

I'm still feeling alienated>